Monday, April 11, 2011

Because I Couldn't Sleep...

As usual I find myself wide awake at... oh, 11:30pm on a school night. Or work night. Whatever. So I thought for funsies I would write you all a story. Here it goes.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess and her name was Schmandis. She had lovely brown hair that no one would ever call "plain" or "mousy." No, it was a beautiful shade of brown and always behaved like good hair does. Her nose was just perfect, not at all too small for her face, and her cheeks were rosy like... roses. She also had nice boobs, but that is beside the point.

Even though she was pretty and everyone loved her throughout the land, Schmandis was lonely. All of her friends, the other princesses she knew from princess school and princess college, had grown up and moved away, marrying their handsome princes and having babies. Or, the more independent (and some might say more homely (although not this writer) princesses went out in search of fulfillment that did not come in the form of a prince. They set out to change the world by helping the sick, needy and the entertainment-starved public.

Schmandis admired her friends but felt that something was missing from her life. Since she did not have a handsome prince to marry she decided to take on a noble quest and be a hero to all those who waited until the last minute to plan their parties and events by working miracles and getting them their cookies on time. She also found that she was the most competent of all of her co-workers, but Schmandis, being the fairest princess in the land, was humble and did not tell anyone this.

One day, while helping to put out numerous fires that had occurred and saving her people's events from being ruined by incompetent cooks, a handsome prince burst into Schmandis's not-so-private office. He was tall and handsome, with dark hair that had a certain wave to it. While not all would call him attractive, Schmandis felt her breath taken away from his charming smile.

"Good sir, may I help you?" Schmandis asked kindly, for that was the type of princess she was. "Fair princess, I have been searching for you far and wide! My name is Finn and I am in search of a beautiful princess to sing to and marry," he replied gallantly.

Schmandis was skeptical of this. She had heard of the handsome Prince Finn; he was from the land of Smglee, where everyone sang beautifully and looked much older than they were supposed to be, but of course in a good way. While she did love to sing, Schmandis was sadly not blessed with the gift of song. It did not deter her, however, and with a great smile she said, "Yes! I would gladly be your princess if only you would sing to me a stunning rendition of Journey's Faithfully so that I may sing it with you."

Prince Finn immediately began to sing. Schmandis could feel her heart beating wildly as his beautiful voice filled the room. She was nearly stunned into silence when her part came up. As if by magic the voice that came from her mouth was not the normal off-key singing that she had grown accustomed to; no, it was beautiful!

When the song was finished Prince Finn swept Schmandis into his arms and kissed her. "Oh princess, I was right to come here! I journeyed all through the land searching for one such as you. Lady Chemilie was right to send me here; she said you would be more wonderful than I could have ever imagined!" he exclaimed. "Oh, Lady Chemilie! It must have been most hard for her to send you to me, but I believe she knew she was doing the right thing. Fate could not keep us apart, even for her!" Schmandis said, throwing her arms around Prince Finn.

With a happy sigh Schmandis turned to her desk and grabbed a piece of pink sticky paper and scrawled "I'm sorry. I quit. Don't hate me." on it. She pressed it onto the center of her desk and turned to the handsome prince. Clasping his hand firmly in hers she pulled him from her office, not looking back once, before riding away into the sunset.

They quickly turned around after Schmandis realized that riding into the sunset meant they were going to Mississippi.

The End

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful story!! I'm so glad my son, Prince Finn was such a gentleman. I will pass the word along to his father, King Finn. Although I am a bit concerned of your cougar ways seeing as my son the Prince, was from the land of Smglee the college years (you know like Saved By the Bell the college years = not as good and not the originals). But alas, if you make him happy the King and I shall be happy too.

    Also - I am not homely!!! In the words of Stephanie Tanner -- HOW RUDE!