Tuesday, April 19, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge in One

Not wanting to irritate anyone who is sick of seeing this "challenge" pop up on Facebook I decided to compile my 30 songs into one day. Here goes:

day 01 - your favorite song - "Champagne High" Sister Hazel

day 02 - your least favorite song - "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong

day 03 - a song that makes you happy - "Stolen" Dashboard Confessional (this actually makes me fall in love)

day 04 - a song that makes you sad - "Half Life" Duncan Sheik

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone - "Breakfast at Tiffany's" Deep Blue Something

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere - "Country Roads" John Denver

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event - "A Long December" Counting Crows

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to - "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid

day 09 - a song that you can dance to - "Orange Blossoms" JJ Grey & Mofro

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep - "Remember" Josh Groban

day 11 - a song from your favorite band - "Tonight, Tonight" Smashing Pumpkins

day 12 - a song from a band you hate - "Father of Mine" Everclear
I refuse to put this song on here due to my intense hatred of it

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure - "Bye, Bye, Bye" N'Sync

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love - "Colt 45" Afroman

day 15 - a song that describes you - "Taste of Danger" Jonatha Brooke

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate - "I'm Yours" Jason Mraz
Not posting video

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio - "S&M" Rihanna

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio - "The Blower's Daughter" Damien Rice

day 19 - a song from your favorite album - "1979" Smashing Pumpkins, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
Couldn't get a video

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry - "What Ever Happened" The Strokes

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy - "Summer Sunshine" The Corrs

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad - "Not Tonight" Adelayda

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding - "For the Beauty of the Earth" Hymn #92 (Methodist Hymnal)

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral - "If I Die Young" The Band Perry

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh - "I'll Never Tell" from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, episode Once More with Feeling

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument - "Greensleeves" arranged by Alfred Reed

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play - The Theme from "Love Story" on Piano

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty - "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin" Colin Hay

day 29 - a song from your childhood - "I Think We're Alone Now" Tiffany

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year - "Supermassive Black Hole" Muse

WHEW! That was much harder than I thought. I also am very proud of myself for only listing one Disney song and no songs from Glee.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Top 10 #1

Candice Morris' Top Ten Famous People I would Like to Meet

1) J.K. Rowling - Of course she makes my list. How could she not?! I find her absolutely amazing and an phenomenal writer. I think if I ever get to meet her I would ask her three things: First, how does she handle being one of the COOLEST people on Earth and what advice does she have for when I'm one of the coolest people on Earth?
Next, what was the point in making Dumbledore gay? I mean, does it have some reasoning behind it or did you just wake up one morning and think 'hm, I think Dumbledore should be gay.' Because honestly, I see no purpose for it. Was he supposed to have had an affair with that Grindle guy?

Finally, I would ask what she has against Susan Pevensie. Just because she wears lipstick doesn't mean she had sex. Geez. I think we would have a good debate.

2) Joss Whedon - One of my all-time FAVORITE directors/producers/writers/everything! I literally would watch anything that he had his hand in, even if it was ridiculously stupid! (Um, hello Dr. Horrible?) Seriously though, shows that he has been a part of have been favorites of mine since I was 15 and even now, looking back at them (and re-watching them all the time) I find that they are still just as amazing as they were 13 years ago. Poignant and original, funny and thoughtful, they tug at your heart and make you think. They also have cute boys and funny songs.

3) Trent Reznor - I'm sure you're thinking "huh? how did he get on that list?" I may be thinking that too, but I have thought Trent Reznor to be one of the greatest musicians ever since I was in middle school. After snagging his Oscar this past year I bet you're finding yourself agreeing with me. No, I was never into Nine Inch Nails. No I couldn't really tell you anything he's ever written. And honestly, I might be a little scared to meet him... But I seriously consider him awesome.

4) Madeleine Albright - As far as heroes go, she could be a good candidate for one of mine. Her childhood, her upbringing, bravery, etc... all admirable. But her
career is absolutely... wow. She did things people only dream of. And became the first woman Secretary of State. Thanks Bill Clinton. One thing I've loved about her for a good while is her brooches. What better way to give a big "F-you!" to people who piss you off or you want to show up? That's what she did. She wore them to communicate to people in her own way of how negotiations and talks were going. How cool is that?!

5) Tina Fey - OBVIOUSLY!!! She's only like my hero! Okay... that's probably going a little overboard, but I seriously love her and have mad respect for everything she's done. I feel like she's a role model to glasses wearing, slightly dorky brunettes everywhere.

6) Robert Schwartzman - I just recently discovered him and really there is no deeper meaning other than he's hot and he can sing. I know there's probably more to him, but I haven't been Princess Stalkerpants enough to figure out what that is. However, Tuscaloosa now has an amphitheater... I think we need to get Rooney to come play and I could set up some catering for them! And then personally oversee it and just happen to hint to Robert that I could show him the town... It could be fun!

7) Zach Braff - Wow... I think he would probably be my first choice on this list to meet (aside from Robert Schwartzman, haha). I am 100% convinced that I would love to spend like an hour just talking music with Zach Braff. I sometimes feel like my ipod is basically one giant Scrubs episode. Also, I would like to sing "Steak Night" and "Waffle Time" with him... I think it would be epic.

8) Neil Patrick Harris - Can we just say genius! I've only recently renewed my love of NPH, but it has come back strong. As a child Doogie Howser, M.D. reassured me that I too could be a doctor at age 16. Needless to say, I did not become one due to... well, due to the fact that no one can be a doctor at 16. Except NPH because he is legen wait for it... dary!

9) Condoleezza Rice - Good ol Condy. I'm surprised I haven't met her already to be honest. She comes to UA like every other month. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but she has been here at least twice. In fact, last time she was here we did a bunch of catering for her. You're welcome, Condy. I'm not really sure why I would really want to meet her, but I think it has to do with a) she's single, b) she's a former Republican Secretary of State, and c) she likes to shop! Soooo maybe those aren't good reasons. I didn't say this list had to be profound.

10) Marian Keyes - I would say she's one of my favorite writers, but my enjoyment of her books have been pretty hit or miss. Which I know is odd that I want to meet her. I think the reason I do is because of her book "Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married."
It is my all time, never to be topped favorite book that has ever been written. There's some movie or book (I don't remember) where the main character looks up passages in Anna Karenananasdflkas (no clue how to spell that) and uses them as advice for her life. I do that with Lucy Sullivan. Advice on boys? Chapter 7. Advice on crazies? Chapter 11. Hopeful little section on getting your best guy friend in the sack and to fall in love with you? Last chapter... which I read over and over again.

So there you have it: my Top 10 Famous People I would Like to Meet. Who are yours?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Fine... a Sequel

Due to the enormous amount of whining... I mean... no, whining... that my previous story generated here is the sequel to "Because I couldn't sleep."

Princess Schmandis, fresh from a wonderful night's rest and a glorious morning, went to visit her friend Lady Chemilie, who had graciously sent Prince Finn to find her. Although it was a terrible morning for Schmandis she decided to comfort her dear friend due to her sadness over not being a princess. Schmandis was happy that Lady Chemilie truly felt that deep down she was a princess, nay a queen, and wanted to help her friend become what she believed she was.

But Chemilie had a terrible secret. Years earlier she had fallen into the trap of the evil sorcerer Gramichael, tempted by promises of fulfillment and riches. She was now held prisoner by him, waiting for the day of her freedom, but it never seemed to arrive.

When Schmandis arrived at the castle where Chemilie lived she was startled to see how beautiful it actually was. She climbed the stairs to the tower to find Chemilie but was startled to see that her friend was stuck in a three sided cage rather than a beautiful luxurious room she had so often imagined.

"Why Chemilie! How can you stand living here?" Schmandis exclaimed. "It is my fault; I promised my services to the evil Gramichael for a year and now I do not think I shall ever escape!" Chemilie cried. Schmandis thought hard. How unfair was it that Chemilie, who was always so gracious and kind, should be locked in a tower while she, a beautiful princess, had met the handsome Prince Finn who sang to her whenever she wanted? Chemilie should have as much luck as her!

"I have an idea to get you out of here!" Schmandis said. "But how? Evil Gramichael continues to pile work on. I'll never be finished!" Chemilie argued. "My handsome friend, Chake Grillyenwall, will come and defeat Gramichael. I know once he sees you he will instantly fall in love and wisk you away from here," Schamndis explained. "But why would he not love you more? You are a princess and I... I am not," Chemilie said with a sigh. "If you believe you are a princess, then you shall be a princess," Schmandis said. And so, Chemilie was a princess from that day on out.

The gallant Chake did show up and challenged the evil Gramichael. The sorcerer was defeated and, as Schmandis predicted, Chake fell in love with Chemilie. Luckily for Chemilie Chake was a prince in his own kingdom and he took her away from the tower and made her his bride. And they lived happily ever after.

Three months later Schmandis dumped Prince Finn because she met the lead singer of Crooney. With his ties to one of the most powerful families in all the land and being a very handsome man she fell instantly in love and they lived happily ever after.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Because I Couldn't Sleep...

As usual I find myself wide awake at... oh, 11:30pm on a school night. Or work night. Whatever. So I thought for funsies I would write you all a story. Here it goes.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess and her name was Schmandis. She had lovely brown hair that no one would ever call "plain" or "mousy." No, it was a beautiful shade of brown and always behaved like good hair does. Her nose was just perfect, not at all too small for her face, and her cheeks were rosy like... roses. She also had nice boobs, but that is beside the point.

Even though she was pretty and everyone loved her throughout the land, Schmandis was lonely. All of her friends, the other princesses she knew from princess school and princess college, had grown up and moved away, marrying their handsome princes and having babies. Or, the more independent (and some might say more homely (although not this writer) princesses went out in search of fulfillment that did not come in the form of a prince. They set out to change the world by helping the sick, needy and the entertainment-starved public.

Schmandis admired her friends but felt that something was missing from her life. Since she did not have a handsome prince to marry she decided to take on a noble quest and be a hero to all those who waited until the last minute to plan their parties and events by working miracles and getting them their cookies on time. She also found that she was the most competent of all of her co-workers, but Schmandis, being the fairest princess in the land, was humble and did not tell anyone this.

One day, while helping to put out numerous fires that had occurred and saving her people's events from being ruined by incompetent cooks, a handsome prince burst into Schmandis's not-so-private office. He was tall and handsome, with dark hair that had a certain wave to it. While not all would call him attractive, Schmandis felt her breath taken away from his charming smile.

"Good sir, may I help you?" Schmandis asked kindly, for that was the type of princess she was. "Fair princess, I have been searching for you far and wide! My name is Finn and I am in search of a beautiful princess to sing to and marry," he replied gallantly.

Schmandis was skeptical of this. She had heard of the handsome Prince Finn; he was from the land of Smglee, where everyone sang beautifully and looked much older than they were supposed to be, but of course in a good way. While she did love to sing, Schmandis was sadly not blessed with the gift of song. It did not deter her, however, and with a great smile she said, "Yes! I would gladly be your princess if only you would sing to me a stunning rendition of Journey's Faithfully so that I may sing it with you."

Prince Finn immediately began to sing. Schmandis could feel her heart beating wildly as his beautiful voice filled the room. She was nearly stunned into silence when her part came up. As if by magic the voice that came from her mouth was not the normal off-key singing that she had grown accustomed to; no, it was beautiful!

When the song was finished Prince Finn swept Schmandis into his arms and kissed her. "Oh princess, I was right to come here! I journeyed all through the land searching for one such as you. Lady Chemilie was right to send me here; she said you would be more wonderful than I could have ever imagined!" he exclaimed. "Oh, Lady Chemilie! It must have been most hard for her to send you to me, but I believe she knew she was doing the right thing. Fate could not keep us apart, even for her!" Schmandis said, throwing her arms around Prince Finn.

With a happy sigh Schmandis turned to her desk and grabbed a piece of pink sticky paper and scrawled "I'm sorry. I quit. Don't hate me." on it. She pressed it onto the center of her desk and turned to the handsome prince. Clasping his hand firmly in hers she pulled him from her office, not looking back once, before riding away into the sunset.

They quickly turned around after Schmandis realized that riding into the sunset meant they were going to Mississippi.

The End

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My Dream Man With Help from Ken

Yesterday, after singing a little song to my cookie that I was eating, it dawned on me that it's going to take a very special man to put up with me. And by special I mean slightly short bus special... or really really REALLY awesomely patient. So it got me thinking about what my ideal type of man is. To be honest, I've really never thought about it. I can tell you what I don't want... but not what I do.

So, with a little help from Ken, I think I'll describe what my ideal man would be.

Although not most important, I think the best place to start would be with looks. Please use the picture to the right as a guide:
1) Hair - While Ken nowadays is usually blonde, he originally was a brunette. I completely prefer brown hair over blonde. There's really very little wiggle room with this.
2) Arms - Okay, I'm a sucker for arms. Not like bulgy muscley arms... just nice ones.
3) Hands - Even bigger sucker for hands. Weird? Probably.
4) Physique - Really... the whole washboard abs and rippling pectorals don't do a whole lot for me.
5) Yeah, I know what you're thinking pervos... While I would prefer my guy be anatomically correct, in this instance I was referring to the swim shorts. The shiny purple shorty shorts do nothing. Neither do the weird 80s sunglasses, but hey... it's Malibu Ken. What do you expect?
6) Height - yeah, I bet you thought I was going to say legs. Wrong! I'm not picky about height just as long as he's not my height and is tall enough to at least reach things on high shelves.

I would kind of prefer he looked a little like this (only real of course):

Next is obviously job. In college I used to judge guys on what their major was. English major? Yeah, we're not going out. Business major? I'll think on it once I've heard what you want to do after college. Pre-law or Political Science? Marry me. Now obviously I can't use majors to judge men because the idea of going out with a college guy really is weird now. So jobs... First off, I should go ahead and say up front that I'm not a gold digger (although my sister would argue with that statement). I just want a guy who has a good job. Is that so wrong? Of course by good job I mean something in the legal or government field so I can live vicariously through them. And also... all that smart is hot. Whispering sweet nothings into my ear? Eh, kind of awkward. Talking about jurisprudence or habeas corpus... wow. Just wow.

This leads me to one of the most important qualities I look for: being able to put up with the crazies. I'm a quirky girl. Whoever I end up with is going to have to deal with a lot of quirks and be okay with them. Here is a short list of the quirky things the guy would need to put up with:
My obsession with Scrubs
Singing to my food (a la Scrubs style)
Little House on the Prairie marathons
My odd enjoyment of YA fiction
Harry Potter
My love of popcorn and pancakes
The fact that I'm a terrible housekeeper
Reading wedding magazines and talking about how cute we would look under a floral arrangement like the one on page 178
My aversion to being touched
Weird blog entries like this one

So you see? There's kind of a lot of weird things that I do that the guy would have to be okay with. He would be pretty stellar if he thought all those things about me were cute. I know that's pushing it, but it could happen!

Also, something that kind of unneccessarily worries me... I don't want him to leave me for a younger blonde. Repeat: Do not leave for younger blonde.

Finally... politics. Now, I know I'm not really a "political" kind of woman. In fact, I don't know very much about them. But I do know that it's important for me to be with a Republican. Not so I can please my family or something, but because Democrats (in my experience) drive me insane. All that pansy "free-love" everyone should be equal we should help the world hippie BS. They shouldn't and no one wants to help the world except you. Although I really wouldn't want a radical Republican who gets obnoxious... although if I'm going to end up with a lawyer or political person I guess I can't have everything. Okay, he can be slightly obnoxious as long as he'll watch some of the Little House on the Prairie marathon with me.

So, as you see, my perfect guy would be a smart, marginally attractive, non-cheating, able to put up with quirks, slightly un-obnoxious Republican lawyer.

Or Zac Efron.

Saturday, April 2, 2011


There is a yoga move that I do every now and again in the shower - wait for my explanation before you get weirded out because there's a purpose for it being done in the shower - that is awesome. It's called the Sun Salutation (although I'm not sure how accurate that is because the Sun Salutation yoga move on Wii is totally different). You start out by standing straight and leaning your head slightly back. Then you slowly roll your head forward, towards your chest, letting it tuck slightly. You then roll your shoulders forward and bend down. It kind of feels like you bend one vertebrae at a time, if that makes sense. Once you've bent forward as far as you can go, you hold that pose for a few seconds, then slowly roll yourself back into your starting position. I enjoy doing this under the shower because the water tends to do magic things as you do the move... and that didn't sound dirty at all. What I'm saying is try it...

When I was in high school and in drama we had to do these little skits or something in front of the class. Two people in my class did this skit about a catharsis. Maybe it was about something else; I don't remember. I just know it had a catharsis in it. At the time I had no idea what a catharsis is. I'm actually Googling the word right now because I'm still not 100% sure. Anywho... in this skit they moaned as their catharsis. Now, I know sometimes everyone needs a good moan or a cry or a scream. I think that yoga move I just described is somehow my own form of a catharsis.

Catharsis is a Greek word meaning "cleansing" or "purging." Now I know... doing a yoga move in the shower that I consider to be a catharsis which means "cleansing" or "purging" is really ironic... maybe. I'm still in the dark on what actually is ironic. Alanis Morrisette didn't help either by singing an entire song about irony when nothing in the song was actually ironic. Going back to my point.

I seem to do a lot of big thinking in the shower. I'm sure it starts somewhere outside of the shower but since there's not a lot of things in the shower to distract me I tend to think a good deal more about the things that are bothering me. It tends to get pretty overwhelming and soon becomes one of those moments that I'm glad I live alone because I sometimes get into a major argument with myself or rant and rave and cry over something really pretty dumb.

Tonight's rant came from the fact that I just finished watching "Eat, Pray, Love." Now, I'm sure every other woman in the world had the same reaction I did so I know mine isn't all that unique. And no, I'm not planning on taking off in a week to go travel to random countries hoping to find myself. Although that would be nice...

But really, what am I going to find in another country that I haven't found yet? I'm here, not 4,000 miles away.

I think what bothered me most after watching the movie isn't that I don't know myself or that I'm not happy with myself but that there isn't more in my life that I can find happiness or joy in. And the most bothersome thing of all? I don't seem to mind.

For the past 10 years I've moved just about every year, so of course nothing ever feels permanent. I often get this sense of "I want to go home" but there is no home. Sure, I could go to my parents, but that hasn't felt like home since I was 20. Even my apartment now still feels temporary. My job feels temporary. I'm even starting to believe my life is temporary. And what way is that to live? When does life start feeling permanent? Does it begin when I decide to stay somewhere longer than a year? Does it begin when I find a husband? Does it begin when I get a house? How do you feel permanent in a temporary life?

Wow, that started sounding a little too Carrie Bradshaw... I expect Samantha will be making a sexual innuendo joke any minute now...

One of the things on my list of things to do before I'm 30 is to work on my commitment issues (at least I think that's on my list... I don't even remember now). This is my biggest commitment issue. It's not with men although God knows I never want to stay committed to any of the ones I've met. It's more just being committed to my life. I'm constantly searching for something new rather than focusing on what I have now. You know, the grass is always greener? Your grass is definitely greener.

Maybe I'll never get over this. Maybe I'm going to always be searching for something better and never be satisfied with what I have. Hopefully one day I'll be able to say "hey, this life is pretty darn good" rather than constantly hoping something better will come along.

Although in the mean time, if something better comes along, you know I'm jumping on that boat ASAP.