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Monday, January 31, 2011

I've had this list since November and I've done a grand total of ZERO things on my list. I've started some... just haven't actually finished any of them. So I thought what I would do is reevaluate some of these items and see if they're still things I want to do. Well, do as part of a "I have to do these things or I'll feel like I failed in life" kind of way. I'll make changes as necessary.

1) Get my diplomas framed. - Yep, still a good one.
2) Go to Harry Potter World - I'm going... with or without you!
3) Fall head-over-hills in love with something - I just realized I said "hills" rather than "heels."
4) Visit NYC and take my picture in front of Tiffany's wearing sunglassese and eating a Danish (or a cranberry muffin from Au Bon Pain) - working on this one!
5) See Wicked or Rent... or both!
6) Write a book and work on getting it published - I'm on Chapter 10.
7) Spend a shameful amount of money on something shamelessly - I actually have this item picked out!
8) Travel to Greece (optional: Meet a handsome Greek man and have a vacation fling)
9) Go to a Karaokee bar and sing something like "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" or "I Will Always Love You" - This one really has me like seriously nervous. I WANT to do it, but the thought of doing it actually terrifies me. Maybe if someone sang with me I wouldn't be so nervous...
10) Read Gone with the Wind - Anyone have a copy I can borrow? The library apparently doesn't have it.
11) Do something charitable
12) Join some type of club - Oddly, this one isn't as easy as I thought.
13) Own the following complete series - Scrubs, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gilmore Girls
14) Learn to speak/read Greek
15) Meet a celebrity - And not like James Spann celebrity... like a real celebrity. Preferably one of the following: Neal Patrick Harris, Zac Effron or Henry Cavill
16) Find a great recipe for a dish that I can make and bring to parties/holiday gatherings/family events/etc. so I can bring something other than deviled eggs (which I can only bring if someone else boils the eggs for me) - I'm changing this one to "Learn to make really good pies."
17) Learn how to boil eggs - I actually did this a few weeks ago but wanted to make sure I could do them without my mom telling me how to.
18) Be able to run a mile - will be starting back with Cindy (my Wii trainer) in January!
19) Buy bedroom furniture - I still haven't figured this one out. On the one hand, it would be nice to own matching bedroom furniture. On the other, I don't want to get it until I'm settled somewhere because I could end up somewhere where I have to live in a matchbox apartment or something and then I'm screwed.
20) Move/live somewhere outside of Alabama
21) Create a signature drink and name it something using my name... like a Canditini
22) Spend a day at the spa
23) Face a fear
24) Get a boob job - This one really needs to be changed. As much as I would love one, I don't want to do this as part of a list of things to do. So I'm gonna change it to stop eating meat for 6 months. I know that's a weird one but I gave up meat for Lent last year and even though it was hard I legitimately felt amazing once I got used to it.
25) Donate to my college's (HES) alumni fund and my sorority
26) Take a chance on someone and see where it leads
27) Improve my credit score - Yeah, this one's boring. It's going to change to "Go to a casino" or "Go to Mardi Gras." Who wants to go with me?!
28) Take a really good picture of myself
29) Learn how to change a tire
30) Overcome my fear of commitment

Now that those changes have been made I guess I should get started!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Guilty!

Just for funsies, I thought I'd make a list of things a 28 year old PROBABLY shouldn't do at work:
1) Sprawl in the middle of the office floor in a dress putting together a vaccum cleaner.

2) Sing along with Glee songs.

3) Play Poppit or Sweet Tooth online.

4) Hulu Saturday night's episode of SNL.

5) Do the Elmo dance from Scrubs whenever something good happens.



6) Take off a slip in the alcohol closet (yes, we have one at work).

7) Look up Harry Potter YouTube videos and post them on people's Facebook pages.



8) Search through funny e-card websites for hours.



9) Chat incessantly with friends about marrying Zac Efron.

10) Read Fanfiction.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Teens of the Late 90s... We were Screwed

Seriously. We were screwed in the teen heart throb department. Looking back at the "hunky" guys that we had to watch every night on the WB and comparing them to the new teen heart throbs that dance across the screen and make teens scream with ridiculous delight, I realize we were screwed. Royally.

First, let's start with the "dreamboat" stars of the WB when we were in high school/early college (this is all my opinion, of course, and if you don't agree with my choices, well, tough):

1) Dawson Leary from Dawson's Creek. Really? This is the guy all the girls wanted to date? Puh-lease! He's such a p-word. I mean, look at him. Give me Pacey any day of the week!

2) David Boreanaz from Buffy and Angel. Okay... he's seriously always going to be a dreamboat in my opinion despite the face that he's kind of a slime-ball in real life. But he was like in his late 20s when Buffy first aired and she was what? 17? Creeper! And he turned into a monster... not really a huge turn on.



3) Any guy from Felicity. Get your act together and stop acting like a douche. The girl freakin moved across the country for you and you don't even ask her to get coffee? I hate you Ben. Noel, you were hot.

4) The Saved by the Bell guys. Okay, TECHNICALLY they weren't super popular when we were in high school, but everyone watched the reruns as preteens and we all gushed about them. Looking back, I'm not sure why.

5) Hanson. Honestly, first time I saw their video I thought the one playing the keyboards was a girl. No, seriously. It took me like 10 more times and an intense discussion with my best friend to finally admit that it was a boy.

6) Jonathan Taylor Thomas (aka JTT). I'm not going to touch that one.








So that brings me back to today. Now, obviously I'm too old to gush over today's teen stars, but I just feel like we did not have any decent teen heart throbs when I was a teenager and the ones we did have were like 30 years old playing 15 year olds. At least today's teen stars are actually teenagers or at least very young adults (Robert Pattinson...).

Why didn't we get teen stars like today's teen stars? I blame Disney. Back in the late 90s and early 2000s their focus was on the older kid demographic and trying to diversify their programming to reach out to several minority groups that may have been turned off to Disney for its lack of ethnic variety. Or at least that's my opinion. My sister was in the older kid demographic so we watched LOTS of Disney back then.

Today Disney has practically cornered the market on young teens with their catchy pretend rock stars like the Jonas Brothers and Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus. Yeah... I said it. PRETEND. Luckily for teenage girls and us older girls who will one day become cougars Disney tends to churn out young cuties like they're going out of style and eventually launching them into grown up world where it finally becomes okay for us to drool over... I mean, enjoy their performances in movies we actually aren't embarrassed to go see.

As I'm sure you have probably guessed from previous posts, I do have a favorite of the Disney stars that has blossomed into a gorgeous young man who I would feel no shame in dating despite our age difference. Zac Efron. Yes, I've seen all the High School Musical movies... several times each. Thanks to a summer at Viva the Chef and listening to Radio Disney 8 hours a day I now can sing most of the songs from the movies and have sang along to the movies. Should I be embarrassed to put all these things in here? Probably. Do I care? Not a bit. With talent like this, how could you not be interested?



So Zac Efron, after I finish my list of 30 things to do before I'm 30 and when you've grown up a little more, how about we meet up? Have some coffee? Have beautiful babies? That is... unless Pacey Witter shows up.

Και εσείς θα πάτε στη Μύκονο

It's been my dream for a very, very, very long time to go to Greece. I'm not sure when it started. Maybe after watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Maybe after my first time eating at Zoe's. Or maybe in third grade when we read about Athena and Arachne. Whenever it was, I definitely feel the pull to go to Greece.


Since one of my things to do before I turn 30 is to travel to Greece I started with the first logical step in achieving this goal. I looked up a trip. Of course, now I only have to decide which one I'd like to go on. Do I want to go on the shorter (and cheaper) one that would take me on a tour of Ancient Greece, to Athens and Delphi and Olympia, to see temples and ancient landmarks?


Or do I want to go island hopping to places like Mykonos and Crete, laying out in the sun, soaking up Greek culture, sailing through the Mediterranean on a cruise ship?

Why not both?!

They both sound amazing to me and, even though I know it'll come down to whichever one I can afford, I'd love to do them both. I'm a huge fan of Greek Mythology and such, so seeing all of the stuff that's related to them would be awesome. Of course, so would island hopping. Oh, decisions, decisions!

To prepare for my trip - which I'm GOING to take - I want to be able to read and speak a little Greek so I'm not completely helpless. I also think it would be kinda cool to know a little bit of it (don't ask me why). So far I've signed up for a free teach-yourself-Greek class online... That's a start, right? I did listen to a little of the audio lesson earlier. The speaker on it sounds a bit like a Sigmund Freud impersonator. Super... At least there's some catchy Greek music on there!

Maybe I should instead focus on planning my trip to NYC since that's a more reasonable and realistical trip that could happen in the near future. And I'm pretty sure that I could knock off a chunk of things on my list...

Monday, January 17, 2011

In a world full of Barbies, I'm a Midge...


The other day I was at the bookstore with my mom and happened to pick up a Barbie book, one of those ones that shows Barbie through the years. I realized that I wasn't a Barbie. I'm a Midge.

Now, that does sound kind of depressing, doesn't it? I don't mean it as it probably sounds. Granted I'm not blonde like Barbie and do have darker hair like Midge. So yeah, in that respect I totally am a Midge. According to Wikipedia Midge "had a fuller, gentler face mold that was less sexually intimidating." Again... totally a Midge.


My comparision between myself and Midge isn't physical - although as a little girl I always wanted a Midge doll even though no one likes to be Midge when you play Barbies. My comparision is this: Barbie has been hundreds of things and Midge has just been in her shadow.

Barbie has been an aerobics instructor, a dentist, a doctor, a nurse, an officer in every branch of the military (including a paratrooper and a thunderbird), ran for President of the United States three times (and was President in 2000 when she didn't even run), a firefighter, a Canadian Mountie, an artist, a cowgirl, a cheerleader, a McDonald's cashier, a babysitter, a ballerina, and a princess. Now, that's not EVERYTHING Barbie's been in her 40-some odd years she's been around, but that's a hell of a career.

You know what Midge has been? Married and pregnant. Granted, Alan, her husband, is pretty hot for a plastic doll, which totally gives me hope, but still... How can you compete with a best friend who literally has it all?

It got me thinking... did Midge ever sit around and think "That bitch Barbie. I hope something crappy happens to her." Well, Barbie's "boyfriend" Ken was kind of a tool... that was pretty crappy. But seriously, I wonder if Midge ever got tired of being in Barbie's shadow and never having all the amazing opportunities Barbie had. Because that's how I feel.



Before I go on, I should point out that I'm definitely not a jealous kind of person and I really am happy for every friend who has a great job. But sometimes I get a little Midgey. Why can't I be a Canadian Mountie like Barbie? Why can't I buy a house/own expensive shoes/get cable? Why can't I have a job that isn't ridiculously low paying? You see? Midgey.

But you know what Barbie? Midge is just as awesome as you are. There's no reason she has to be stuck home with three kids and a husband while you're out gallavanting around as a Sea World trainer or a TV chef or a cat burgular (yeah, I know it was you who stole my necklace). Midge can do all those things and more. Because Midge is a sassy red-head with cute freckles and a sexually less intimidating face than you.

So for all the Midges out there, this is the year that this sassy red-head (until the hair color fades) is going to become a Canadian Mountie. Take that Barbie.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

No Funfetti Cake?!

Yesterday was my 28th birthday. Which, in regards to this blog, means I have exactly two years to finish my list. As of right now, I'm nowhere close. But enough about that.

I think it's funny how excited I get over my birthday. Especially since they usually don't turn out to be what I expected. But like every other hopeful girl I forget the bad times of my birthday and focus on my favorite part: a day devoted entirely to me. What else could an egotistical self-centered woman want?

As I'm sure you know I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock lately due to my lack of cable and my new obsession with Netflix on the Wii. I don't find it coincidental at all that the episode that came on a while ago was a birthday episode. In fact, I found it to be a sign. Well, maybe two signs. The first is that depressing movies will no longer be allowed in my house because they affect me too much. The second is that even if birthdays suck as you get older and no one makes a big deal out of them anymore... wait. That actually might be the sign.

This particular episode was about one of the character's 50th birthday and he found that his birthday party didn't measure up to his 10th birthday because he wasn't happy. But then he laughed at something and was happy. Or something like that. I think the message I got from it was a little vague.

My point is that birthdays just aren't special anymore. Sure, people post generic "Happy Birthdays" on my Facebook wall. My mom bakes me a funfetti cake every year even though I don't like cake. (Although this year she surprised me with birthday tiramisu which is my favorite dessert. Isn't my mom awesome?) Friends send me text messages or go out to dinner with me for my birthday. All of that used to make my birthday great. And it still does... but not in the same way. I've realized that it isn't those things that make me enjoy my birthday. It's the little things that seem ridiculously insignificant and no on really remembers except me.

My favorite episode of Sex and the City is the one where Carrie plans this big dinner for her birthday and none of her friends show up for whatever various reasons and she's left sitting at the restaurant all alone. It's pretty pathetic. As she's nearing her apartment later in the evening (after her friends come through in the end), upset and miserable, Mr. Big is there and makes everything better. Not all right, just better. Here, watch the clip:



My 23rd birthday was like this. Without going into the details that was honestly my worst birthday. I felt like I had no friends, no one cared about me, etc. And then one of my good guy friends, in typical fashion for him, pulled a Mr. Big. He told me something along the lines of "Shut up, it's your birthday. Happy birthday," as I was whining about how unhappy I was. Instantly cheered me up. It didn't make everything all right, but it definitely made my birthday better.

All in all, this birthday was pretty good. I really do have great friends, I'm overall happy to be me, and 28 isn't so bad. I still have a long way to go in my quest to accomplish my list before I'm 30 but all I can say is this: bring it on and, in the words of Mr. Big, "Happy birthday, baby."

Now all I need is a tall, dark and handsome man to show up with red balloons...

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dear Zac Efron...

Because there's really nothing better to do on a Wednesday afternoon at 2:10 pm... and honestly, who really wants to work... Here are our letters to Zac Efron. Please enjoy.

Dear Zac Efron,
I would like to present you with an opportunity to play the leading man in the screen adaptation of my not yet named story.

Thanks,
Candice

Dear Zac Efron,
Candice's yet to be named and published story will be directed for film by me. I believe in one-on-one prep time. I think this will enhance both our careers.

Sincerly yours,
Emilie



Writing letters to Zac Efron also led to this shame spiral...

Dear John (Cusack), OMGILOVEYOUSOMUCHPLEASECOMESTANDOUTSIDEMYWINDOWWITHMUSICILOVEEEEYOUMARRYME?
Love,
Emilie

ps. sorry for no spaces i just got really excited

pps marry me?

ppps i promise i'm not crazy

ppps please dont file for a restraining order

Dear John Cusack,

Do you mind if I call you John Cusack? I would just like to warn you that if you do indeed marry Emilie, you'll have to wake her up every morning with holding a boombox over your head. Also, I loved you in Clueless. Oh wait, that was Paul Rudd. My bad.

Thanks, Candice

Dear John,

Is it ok if after we get married that I name our first child Lloyd?

Yours Affectionally,
Emilie



Watch out Logan Lerman and Harry Potter... you're next!


Monday, January 10, 2011

Bitches get stuff done

I'll admit it: I get a little turned on from out-spoken, opinionated, on a mission women. Not in a lesbian way of course, but in a hooray-feminism-let's-all-burn-our-bras-together-the-Feminist-Mystique-girl-power-Spice-Girls kind of way. Also, I'm well aware that the Spice Girls are probably no longer a legitimate analogy for my point.

Hillary Clinton, Tina Fey, Madeleine Albright... all heroes in my secret I'm not going to tell anyone I really like them book. Reading about things they do/did, hearing them talk about things, seeing the envelopes they've pushed - all these things make me wonder if I could do something more important or be something more important. They've all got this air of confidence that says "Look at me. I'm awesome." I'm pretty sure they all watch this at the beginning of their day:



Now that's confidence.

I know what you're probably thinking. "But Candice, these are all Democrats. I thought you were a Republican." Yeah, well... I guess that's my dirty little secret. I think Democratic women are more awesome than Republican women. (Minus Nancy Pelosi of course; that one just gives me the heebie-jeebies) I mean, look who we have in our arsenal: Sarah Palin? Yeah... I think at first I thought she was awesome. Now I think most Republicans have written her off as a failed experiment. Condoleeza Rice? No, I like her. Maybe Sarah Palin is just the only one I can think of. Needless to say, I've never really thought "Hey, yeah! I want to get involved! Make a difference! Make it on my own! Toss my beret up in the air and spin around!" when I've heard Republican women speak.

Now that I think about it, maybe I've just been watching too much 30 Rock on Netflix lately... I really need to get cable...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

New year, new me?

Well no, not a "new me" because I'm happy with the way I am. Sort of. I like myself. It's been pretty interesting to read all these articles and such about New Year's Resolutions or how people feel about them. I know we all say "I'm going to work out more" or "I'm going to start eating right." Yeah, you're all full of crap. No one works out and no one eats right.
That being said, I started back with Cindy, my Wii Fit Trainer the other day. Let's just say it's going to be a slow process getting back in the habit of working out like I used to. It also may be a while before I can run a mile and accomplish #18 on my list. Yesterday I tried doing the running program on the Wii and about halfway through had to quit because I kept getting cramps in my calves. In my defense, however, I had just led an entire parade through Wii Town.
I've really tried to accomplish some of the things on my list lately. My mom swore that she had Gone With the Wind, and, after an intense attic scavengar hunt, we decided maybe she didn't. I did find the Thorn Birds in there. Not that it's the same thing.
I did decide over Christmas break to change one of the things on my list - I'm sure this habit is going to pop up more often. It's actually #1 on my list: Learn to manage my life/work/relationships/happiness/etc. without the need of a list. You know what? I like lists. They're fun to make and I get a simple joy from crossing things off of it. It's not as though I have a list of things I need to do before a certain time in my life (minus this list of course). So I've decided that I'm going to change #1 from what it currently is to getting my diplomas framed. It's been what? 4 years now since I graduated from college and almost 2 since I graduated from grad school? It's time people. It's PAST time.
Finally, an update on my book. It's funny how in one of my earlier posts (which considering there really aren't too many to consider it an "earlier post") I said I had a word count of 1,700. Now I think it's like in the 27,000s... Yeah, I'm on a roll!
On a parting note, I'm going to leave you with some quotes that have made me laugh over the past few days. With no cable, I now depend on Netflix on the Wii for my entertainment and have been watching Season 1 of 30 Rock. Here are some favorites so far:
Tracy: Damn straight. I'm delightful.

Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?

Tracy: Live every week like it's Shark Week.