Fairy Tale = Crap

Perhaps I'm a glutton for punishment. Perhaps I have problems moving on. Perhaps I have a mite bit too much anger built up in my that makes me want to punch him in the face. Whatever the reason, I, without thinking about it, decided to look up the "ex" on Facebook. Which I've done before, I don't actually look at his profile... whatever. Weak moment. But instead of his ugly mug (let's face it, I wasn't really all that attracted to him and I'm saying this honestly and not as a bitter dumped woman) staring back at me it was that and a girl. The girlfriend. Skank. (Although I'm sure she's lovely and perhaps in another life we could have been friends (ha)... although if we were I'd seriously need to discuss her serious lack of sane judgment when it comes to guys).

I promise I definitely try not to be one of those bitter girls who bad mouths all of her exes and lets them ruin her life. Key word: try. And I promise I'm going to try not to bad mouth men. Key word again: try. But honestly? What the hell men?

You know what? I don't blame you members of the male society. I blame us, the women of this world. Or at least the parts of it that allow women to actually be first class citizens. I mean it's no wonder men tend to "do us wrong" and cheat/use/dump/blah blah blah. Long gone are the days of chivalry and kindness. And do you want to know why? Do you? I'll tell you why. It's gone because we've allowed it to be gone.

Now I'm not saying I want to be a helpless princess who depends solely on some man to make her happy. God knows that's not going to happen. I guess what I'm saying is that by telling men "hey, we don't need you" and insisting that we can do it ourselves maybe we've forced them to stop giving a crap about how they treat us.

Or maybe that's just me. I'm sure there's always some exception to this and for whatever woman who has found that guy, good for you. I'm sure you're living happily ever after and we all hate you for it.

But for those of us who were just "used until something better came along" what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to still believe in fairy tales and think that one day our handsome prince is going to come riding in and save us from the tower of man-hating that we've built around us?

I would like to point out that I am, in fact, not a man-hater and actually do enjoy them, especially lawyers and pilots.

Things that will probably ensure I never work again...

Let's face it: my job, trying as it may be, definitely does not require a solid 8 hours a day. In fact, I would put money on it that I probably only do about 3 hours of work total a day. Now, this of course doesn't apply to every day and I really do enjoy those days when I work a full day's work (makes the time go by so much faster), but for the most part I don't work all that much. So what do I do to fill my time? I'm glad you asked! Unless you didn't, then I'm just glad to share.

G-Chatting (is that what it's called?)
Yes, I join the millions of workers who, each day, take part in chatting online while they're supposed to be working. But honestly, when am I going to get to talk to friends who I never see? After work? On the phone? Yeah right! I think it's totally better to talk during the day while I'm being paid. Now friends, if you'd like to pay me to sit on the computer at night after sitting on it for 9 hours a day go for it. My rate is $13.00 per hour.

Some E-Cards
I seriously could look at this website for hours - and usually do! I'm sure my friend Emilie gets a little tired of me sending her various cards that happen to go along with whatever conversation we're currently having, but that's what happens when I'm bored at work. You get a random e-card.

White Girl Problems
I discovered this on Twitter over spring break and was so irritated that I didn't discover this while in the office! Let me tell you... HA-LARIOUS!

I miss you, unless you miss me, in which case I'm over you and into me being me. #whitegirlproblems

Googling Harry Potter videos and posting them on my sister's Facebook wall
Sorry Danielle, but you know you secretly love me doing this.


Wikiquote.com
Ah yes... wikiquote... I could spend a good day reading quotes from shows such as Angel, Buffy, Scrubs, Dawson's Creek... and often do.

Updating Facebook status with Wikiquote.com quotes
Yeah... it's pretty obvious when I'm on wikiquote. Every 20 minutes I have to post a new quote.

Writing my book
Actually... it's finish! Here is a small section from it. Which will probably be changed a hundred times before the month is over because I've totally freaked myself out about it. But for now, enjoy!

Georgie managed to slip away from Harrison and snuck out onto the courtyard. Several couples were outside, some kissing while others simply standing and talking. Her feet were killing her as she sat down and pulled off her sandals. “Too much fun with the dancing king?” she heard a voice ask. She glanced up and saw Edmund walking towards her. “Fun isn’t exactly the word I would use,” Georgie said sarcastically. “Harrison seems to be into you though. I think just about every girl here would give anything to trade places with you,” Edmund said. “They can have him and his wandering hands,” Georgie muttered. She glanced up at Edmund and saw his lips draw together angrily. “I saw that. His hands seemed to be everywhere except where they shouldn’t be,” he said. “Kristina seems to be having fun with you,” Georgie commented. “Yeah, I think she is,” Edmund agreed before sighing. “I just wish I could say the same.” “You’re not having fun?” Georgie asked, her heart leaping slightly with joy. “I only asked Kristina to go with me to make you jealous.” Georgie stared at him wide eyed before relaxing into a small smile. “Well, it worked,” she admitted. She felt Edmund run his finger over her hand, tiny shivers running up her arm as he did. “Why did you come with Harrison?” Edmund asked quietly. Georgie glanced up and caught his eyes, the look in them indescribable. She nearly lost capability to speak much less think about why she had agreed to go with Harrison. A million excuses came to her mind, a million reasons she thought she should tell him, but only one truth. “Because you didn’t ask me,” she said softly. Edmund smiled and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “My first mistake,” he whispered as he closed the distance between them, his lips pressing against hers. Georgie’s heart beat excitedly as she kissed him back, her hands winding around his neck and drawing herself closer to him. Edmund pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. He kept his arms around her holding her close as they both sat motionless, breathless from the intensity of their kiss. “I’ve imagined that happening hundreds of times,” Edmund whispered. “Did it live up to your expectations?” Georgie giggled. She felt him move away and kiss the tip of her nose before saying, “It far exceeded them.”

Listening to Glee songs
I'm fairly certain the men in my office don't enjoy this - in other words, I'm sure no one in my office enjoys this. I work with all men in the office. But whatever, right? So I want to listen to Glee? It makes me happy! Although I'm sure singing along and dancing in my seat is probably frowned upon in the corporate world.

Facebook
Ah, the ultimate waste-of-time! No, I don't REALLY care about your 100+ pictures from your day at the zoo with your kids, but I'm going to look at them. So you've posted a link to an article about cheese being bad for your feet? Do I care? Absolutely not but I'm going to read it. Random fact on your status? I think I'll comment on it.

Fanfiction.net
I don't really play on this one very much anymore, but some days I just get the urge to read a 14 year old's rambling story about Twilight. Then I think "Geez, this girl sucks. She needs a hobby." Although, I'm sure writing fanfiction is her hobby. If so, good for you kid. I hope one day you become a great writer and make me eat my words.

Stack o'bridal magazines/catering magazines
No, I'm not really obsessed with marriage stuff. I just like looking at the pictures. And when you plan events professionally, you have to keep abreast of new trends in stuff. And even though most of the magazines are a few years old, they can still be used, right?

Finally...
Updating my blog
Yes, this is the ultimate waste of time. Not that my blog and thoughts are a waste of time, but I never actually plan time to work on it. Random thoughts come across my mind while I'm at work and I think "Hey! That needs to be written down!" They usually lead to me wanting to create a blog post.

So there you have it... the things that will probably ensure I never work again. Although right now I think I'm about to start working on one of those hours of work...

#3 Done!!!... Sort of.

I meant to post this on Valentine's day, but I was too busy with Valentine's Day to actually write.

I have been in love exactly three times in my relatively short life. The first was in high school, which really shouldn't count but I feel it was the first time I truly felt "love." (I say that under quotations because I'm not quite sure it was actually love or maybe just the moment I was in) There was this guy I met while in high school (summer before junior year maybe?) and I developed a huge crush on him. We "dated" or "talked" or whatever the heck we called it back then but I'm fairly certain now it wasn't a real relationship. They'll never make a movie about us. But I felt very strongly for him. To the point I felt a physical WOW moment when I realized I was actually in love with him. Of course, this moment came during the middle of a church "revival" type concert we had gone to... so, it could have been God moving in me. But I think it was "love."

The second time I felt "love" was with a good guy friend (who I really hope isn't reading this right now) and have honestly been "in love" with him since we started talking (grown up talking, not high school dating-talking). I think my love for him was actually transferred to him from another guy when my friend said "neat" about something I said and the guy I had liked previously always said "neat" and I thought it was super cute. Whatever. I was 20.

Anywho... "in love" with guy friend, never going to happen between us, am focusing on letting myself accept we're just friends. It's working out for me... a little.

The last and most recent time I fell in love was the second I laid eyes on my puppy (who really isn't a puppy anymore but she'll always be that way to me) Ginger. Maybe it's a little lame to fall in love with a dog, but who cares? She's the absolute love of my life. The moment I saw her and held her, I would have done anything to keep her. I still would do anything or pay anything to keep her. I look for places to live based on her. I make travel plans based on her. I plan my social calendar based on her. Honestly, if you get to feel this much love when you have a kid, sign me up for 20! (No, really... please don't.)

All this being said I wouldn't say these three times quantify as falling head over heels in love with something. But then Valentine's Day came and, unlike the millions of women who hate V-Day or moan "woe is me, I don't have anyone who loves me!" all day, I decided to take the day of love into my own hands.

I know that one day I'll meet someone and will fall in love (true love, mind you) and they will fall in love with me and we'll live ever after (note I didn't say "happily"... you can never tell and who wants life to be perfect?). Until then, why should I waste love? Why should I go months or years of being single and not love? I shouldn't! So who should I love until Prince Zac comes along? Me, of course! Because if I don't love me the most, why would anyone else?

I know how egotistical that must sound and I truly don't mean it that way. To paraphrase Carrie Bradshaw, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. If you don't love yourself, what makes you think someone else will? No, I'm not perfect and I have tons of flaws. But that's okay. I'm still awesome.

So in conclusion maybe I haven't fallen head over heels with something like I intially thought I would but I think this is so much better. I may not look, act, sound, or think like the most perfect woman in the world, but in my opinion, I'm okay with that. I'm head over heels in love with me just the way I am.