I'm pretty sure there comes a point in everyone's life where they stop and think "Is this really my life?" Maybe it comes earlier in life, fresh out of college, sitting in your parents' living room in your pajamas watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch at 1:00 in the afternoon while eating a bowl of cereal out of a big cup because you just woke up 20 minutes ago. Maybe it comes later in life, while you're sitting at your kid's soccer game and watching him kick the ball into the other team's goal and forcing yourself to clap for your semi-special little man who just lost the team the game.
Or, if you're like me, maybe it hits you every time you take a shower. Or go to bed. Or wake up. Or sit at your desk at work pecking away on your blog.
I just finished reading a post on HelloGiggles (one of my favorite new sites, check it out if you haven't already!) entitled "Being a Professional Adult." In this post the writer listed ways she would know when she was an adult and I really found myself agreeing with her on most things. She wrote about when she bought her first winter coat how she felt everyone would know she was an adult. I think I go through that a lot to. Not with coats, mind you, because I have a mild obsession with them and have a different one for every day of the week, plus a few extra for costume changes mid-day. But there are times (rare times) when I actually put effort into getting dressed and think "I'm wearing heels! My hair isn't in a ponytail! I'm not wearing sweats! Look at me! I'm a grown up!"
Of course, I pretty much cancel out all grown-upness out when I get home, kick off my heels, pull my hair up, put on some sweats and turn on Wizards of Waverly Place.
Lately I've been looking at my life and thinking "Is this really my life?" You hear all the time about the existential woes of the twenty-something, scraping by on a meager salary, eating Spaghetti-O's for dinner, having massive credit card debt due to shopping too much... It's kind of funny, always good for a laugh or a quirky rom-com. But in real life, not so funny. And somehow, in the past year, this has become my life. Minus the credit card debt. Yay me.
Now, I've never felt like I was the girl who always "had it together" but I've also never felt like an incredible train wreck. There's really no point in searching for the "how" or the "why" - such as I took a job that was incredibly low-paying and in Tuscaloosa in hopes that it would lead to a better job. Pshh...
Now that I've gotten all my Negative Nancy out, maybe I should focus on how to combat said train wreck and get myself back on course.
Set goals - I would like to move somewhere new by 2012. (NYC please!)
Manage money better - Prepare budget and stick to it. Cut excessive crap spending.
Clean apartment - No explanation necessary
De-clutter my life - Do I really need 9 coats? In Alabama? (yes... yes I do)
Make goals happen
Will these things make me feel better about my life? I have no idea. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But maybe they'll let me stop eating Spaghetti-O's. They're honestly pretty disgusting.