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Saturday, December 11, 2010

#23 - Fear

The other day I was thinking about my list and for some reason the item on it that I seemed to instantly focus on was facing a fear. It got me thinking: What exactly am I afraid of?

I have normal fears: snakes, bugs, scary movies. I don't really think it would be significant to say that if I touch a snake or a bug or make it through a scary movie marathon I could cross this item off my list. I did consider my fear of falling and facing it by going bungee jumping. Although that doesn't so much seem like facing that fear as much as it seems like facing death.

That thought, about facing death, made me think about the fear of death and whether I feared it. (This list thing wasn't exactly intended to make me think deeper... funny how things work themselves out) The truth is that I don't think I fear death. I think what I fear more is regret and knowing that I didn't live my life the way I should have.

Maybe, instead of facing a superficial fear, I should face my fear of living an unfulfilled life and finding fulfillment in the things I have done and the people I've befriended and grown close to.

Of course, that's really not very fun and honestly I think it would take longer than just over 2 years to face that fear. I think what I may do instead is watch a scary movie marathon... at night... with the lights out. Maybe it'll include all the movies that scared me as a child: Gremlins, Child's Play, Nightmare on Elm Street...

I just may need a spend the night guest after that marathon!

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