Where I've been is where I wanted to go

So it's been 3 months since I last blogged here. What?! Yeah, I know. I've been busy! No excuse... I thought I should update what all I've been doing because I've kind of started wondering what the heck I've been doing the past 3 months!

Football Season - I know it's lame for me to say "Oh, well it's football season. Of course I've been busy!" Every football fan who's worth his salt says this. Of course, they're usually just fans who use that as an excuse. Me? I WORK during football season.* If it's a home game, I'm swamped with tailgating orders and coddling fans, not to mention I actually work on game day for 6+ hours feeding said fans (who are now hungry and drunk). If it's an away week, that doesn't mean we've got an off week. No, I'm getting ready for the next home game, catching up from all the work I DIDN'T get done on home game week... Let's also not forget we had the biggest game of the year (or decade in some people's opinions) here in town (LSU vs. UA for all you people who live outside the south (or under a rock)). Needless to say, football season wiped me out!

*Yes, I know you probably work too. Don't come after me with torches.
Babies, Babies, Babies! - Okay, so two. And calm down. None of them were mine. One of my good friends had her baby in October which I was super psyched about! And then a few weeks ago my aunt had her baby, which I was also super psyched about! Although I've had many friends and acquaintances have babies, these were the first two friends (and relative) that have had babies and I've gotten to be a part of sharing in their excitement.

New Ventures - A while ago I decided I really wanted to start a website. I don't know why, I just did. Deep down I knew I wanted to start a book review site because I LOVE book review sites almost as much as I love books. So my want of a website broke two ways:

Cupcakes and Cover Letters - Still in the works, but super fun. A friend and I have always joked about starting a business that offers resume/cover letter advice and cupcakes. I thought it would be fun to at least have a website that offers that advice and talks about cupcakes, so we decided to go in together and create our site. It's still new and we're still working on it (we're both major busy) but I have no doubt it's gonna be great once we finally get our thinking caps on.

The Grown Up YA - This has become my baby over the past month. While C&C was fun, I really wanted my own site that I could devote to book reviews and such. And since I have a slightly sad obsession with Young Adult literature... it was a no brainer what my site should be about. It's been super fun working on it and connecting with others to make it a legit site. Now all I need is visitors...

Getting Ready to Move - Yes, you heard it right. I'm moving. AGAIN. Unfortunately it's nowhere fun. Just back to my parents'. Luckily this time it should only be for a short while. My lease was up and I hate my apartment complex so I decided not to renew and move home for a bit so I could look for something perfect rather than be rushed into another crappy apartment. Upside? 3 hours of driving a day means lots of books on tape!

Netflix - I hoped to teach those greedy so and so's a lesson by cancelling my membership when they price gouged their product. But then I really wanted to watch an episode of Scrubs and I rejoined. Don't judge. Since I renewed my membership I've been catching up on shows I missed seasons of (30 Rock, Parks and Recreation) and finding new shows to be obsessed with (Downton Abbey OMG so good!). I currently am geekily obsessed with Merlin. You're welcome SyFy.

New Baby Kitty - A couple months ago I went out one night to run an errand (ie go get ice cream) and saw a couple of cute kittens playing in the neighborhood. So when I came back they were still there and I wanted to play with them. Long story short, I ended up taking one home with me. What the what?! I have no clue what I was thinking but she has been so much fun that I'm glad I acted irrationally and randomly picked up a stray cat. Oh, and her name is Elliott. This is not weird, despite what the vet said.

General Laziness - Okay, none of these things listed above REALLY kept me from blogging as much as me being lazy did.

So now that I've started back on this blog I hope that I can be a regular blogger here. Blog.

Fun & Fancy Free in Happy Valley!

Well, football season is back and so far everything is rosy for the University of Alabama! Roll Tide! Of course... we've only played Kent State and that was a bust. 48-7. Roll Tide again!
This weekend we go to Happy Valley and play the Penn State... well I'm not sure what they are. Panthers? Patriots? Amish? Who knows?
Funny story about Penn State. When I was interning in Cuba (yes Cuba) this man came into my office and was asking me where I went to school. So I happily replied "I go to the University of Alabama." Because why wouldn't you say that happily? He gave me a funny look and told me to come closer. This sent off major red warning lights, but considering he was older and I was stupid, I moved closer. He was, actually, holding his hand up to show a large class ring. I immediately thought "Great, he went to Auburn. Time for a show down at the OK Corral" but decided to put on my Alabama classiness and smile politely at him. The ring, however, said "Penn State." Enter total confusion and more polite smiles. Apparently he was at Penn State in the late 70s and early 80s. For those of you who do not know your Alabama history, clearly as I did not back then, we beat Penn State in the 1979 National Championship.

This is the second time I will get to see Alabama take on the Penn State... what are they?! I should look this up. Anywho... as I mentioned earlier we will travel to Happy Valley, which reminds me of this Mickey Mouse cartoon that we had on video when I was little.

My dad was in the Marines before I was born and didn't get out until I was 3, so we moved quite a good bit. When I was 2 he was stationed in Okinawa, Japan and, while there, my parents bought several bootlegged Disney movies for me to watch. One of them had Peter Pan, Dumbo and Mickey and the Beanstalk. And in between Dumbo and Mickey was this gem:


Back to Happy Valley. Mickey and the Beanstalk appeared on something called Fun and Fancy Free, which I believe was a video of this man telling a story to this little girl and these creepy puppets.

I, however, am just now learning this as Juicy Fruit took over that part of our bootleg tape.

See, once upon a time, Happy Valley was beautiful, yada yada yada and there was this magic harp that sang. Then a giant stole the harp and the land became poor. We all know the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, so just insert Mickey, Goofy and Donald into the story and it's about the same.

So of course hearing that Penn State was referred to as "Happy Valley" I immediately thought how funny it would be to use Mickey and the Beanstalk for my predictions for the game:

The day before the game the boys of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide are treated to a meal before flying out. While there is a delicious brunch prepared for them, unfortunately some of them will be on very strict diets so as not to weigh them down.

When the Crimson Tide boys get up to Happy Valley, they will be excited because for some of them this may be their first time to ever travel from the state of Alabama, much less so far north.

How pretty Happy Valley is! How lovely it is!

But away games are no picnic. There's lots of hard work involved.

When it comes time for kick-off our boys will be ready!

Ahem... ready!

Roolllllllllllllllll Tide Roll!

And they're off! McCarron throws the ball to someone who catches it... Okay, I haven't learned everyone's name this season yet

.

Touchdown Alabama!

Penn State has the ball.

Sneak attack!

Hightower tackles, fumble!

Recovered!

Touchdown Alabama!

Alabama Wins!

Of course, we can't all be winners. And so, the Penn State boys return home, with good ole JoePa.

As always, enjoy the game and ROLL TIDE!

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

By now I am sure that you have accepted all of my odd quirks and love them almost as much as you love me. If you don't, my apologies. You should have thought of that before you gave me the ring. Hopefully you will grow to love my little food songs, my overuse of Scrubs quotes, and my mad desire for Little House on the Prairie marathons. Just as I love how you take out the garbage, don't complain about my cooking, and pick up your socks even though I don't pick up mine.

I know how lucky I am to have you. Never in a million years did I think someone would be okay with a domestically challenged woman as myself but somehow you are. And I love you for that. Even if I'm not able to cook a fancy schmancy meal to show just how much I love you.

Once a very picky girl, I have grown into an even pickier woman who has not always known what she wants. It may have taken me a while to find you, but find you I did. I know that you're healthy, wealthy and wise, with handsome looks and charm that curls my toes. I know that you're the man of my dreams regardless of ever actually appearing in them. I know that one day when we begin our family our children will be beautiful because look at us. We're beautiful. And I know that my life has been enriched just by loving you.

I look forward to spending my life with you, experiencing things with you, growing old with you. I look forward to the day when we sit in our living room fussing like an old Jewish couple and are absolutely precious doing it. Because we will be that old Jewish couple who are absolutely precious, despite us not being Jewish. Unless you are. Then mazel tov. And when you're going through your mid-life crisis I promise not to roll my eyes too hard when you insist on buying that ostentatious cherry red convertable and will put sunscreen on your balding head when you insist on driving it around with the top down. Because I know you put up with me during all my crazy moments and baby, there will be lots of 'em!

Thank you for making my dreams come true, for giving me happiness and laughter, for entertaining my crazy schemes like the dreamboat Desi you are. I know that no matter how awesome I am, it's because of you that I am that much more awesome.

Hugs and Kisses,
Your darling wife

May the odds be ever in your favor!

Earlier today I had a brief, humor-laden serious discussion about the current drop in rating the US just received. At least I think that's what it was about. Whatever it was about it led me to say this:

and I think that we've completely [screwed] up this country over the past decade so it's almost beyond repair... like someone's going to have to give and no one is willing to do it

Which led to this gem:

oh god... this is how all those dystopian books start... a corrupt government, overthrowing it by the people... damnit! pretty soon they're either going to wipe us out or we're going to resort to the middle ages and be forced to marry and have babies!

Recently I've somehow subconciously discovered what is referred to as dystopian novels. For those who don't know what this means - don't worry, I didn't either at first - it's basically the opposite of utopian. Don't know what utopian means? What? Did you never see Ever After with Drew Barrymore? Pshh...

Dystopian mainly refers to "the idea of a society in a repressive and controlled state, often under the guise of being utopian." From Wikipedia. We all know it's a reliable source.

Now I'm seriously NOT a conspiracy theory nut or one of those "keep the government outta here!" type people. I'm really not. I truly still want to ahave faith in the government and believe that it's still "for the people." Although lately our government hasn't given me much hope. And isn't that slowly how dystopian societies in these books start? The people are dissatisfied with the government, they revolt, they riot, they try to overturn the government and either the government wipes them out or the rioters destroy the government and take over. (See Cuba and their happy ending)

Of course I don't see any of this happening in my lifetime or my potential children's lifetime. I just don't. But if these are the types of people our world is churning out (see below), I just don't see how we can stop a dystopian society from becoming our future.

And I don't mean that they will be the ones to rise up and overtake the goverment. Not unless they can Facebook about it.

Perhaps a dystopian society wouldn't be so bad. As long as you kept your head down and played by the rules maybe you could have a healthy and happy life. According to the many novels out there, apparently everything's taken care of for you. No longer will we have to worry about what our kids learn and whether one school system is better than the other. Everything is equal. Looking for love will be a thing of the past, if love isn't completely eradicated by then. Mates will be chosen for us and we won't have to stress about finding someone before we get too old. We'll all be married at a certain age anyway.

Yes, I know this all makes me sound like a crazy person. But as my friend Loraine* said: "At this point I'd rather do that then work 14 hour days and make no money. At least making babies requires me to be sleeping with a man which is better than right now too"
*Name changed to protect Emilie.

As long as my futuristic, government chosen husband looks like this:

I'd be okay with making babies for a living too.

Dear Myself

I would like to share a story. If I've already shared this story, then excuuuuuuse me Princess... but this is my blog.


When I was maybe 13 or 14 I decided to make a list of things I wanted to do by the time I was 16. I was going to open it on my 16th birthday in hopes that I had accomplished the things on my list. So I made this list, folded it up and taped it on the inside of my dresser's top drawer (you know it's important and private if it goes in the top drawer). As my birthday drew nearer I grew more and more excited. I even went as far as bragging to everyone about this. I tried imagining what all my younger self had wanted to accomplish, had I accomplished those things, etc. When it was time to read the list I could hardly contain myself. I opened the drawer, ripped out the folded up paper and opened it. And it was....

Something completely different. There was no list. It was like a piece of scrap paper with something random on it. No list. No goals. Nothing.

This really was one of my more embarrassing moments. But still a funny story.

In the show How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) they often have this bit "You know who could handle this? Future us." (note: this is not a direct quote from the show) Since I am one of those people who regularly adopts funny lines from shows and uses them as my own catch phrases (ex. "frick", "awesome", "funsies", "You son of a beetch!", etc.) I sometimes catch myself saying "You know who would be awesome at doing this? Future Candice." Well, Future Candice, you ARE awesome.

When I was a freshman in high school we had to write letters to ourselves that we would open right before graduation. Since mine was so ridiculously dumb, I'm going to refrain from explaining what it was about. This is just another prime example of how awesome Future Candice is. Because Future Candice would never write about lame things like how super cute that guy in band is.

Since Future Candice is so awesome, I wanted to write a letter to her. So here goes:

Dear Future Candice,
Hi! How is it in year 2021 (yes, 2021... because I'm sure this blog will still be awesome then)? Hopefully great!

I hope by now you have found a career that satisfies you and pays your bills. And leaves you lots of money left over for fun stuff... like shopping! Did you ever take that trip to Greece? I hope so because I'm really wanting to go.

I'm also hoping by now you've managed to have a somewhat successful relationship. And I hope that includes with someone other than yourself! Maybe that's a little harsh, but by 38 you should have at least found someone to love you!

There are so many things I hope you have done and discovered by now, such as had your book published and learned how to clean your apartment. Geez I hope you aren't still living in an apartment! Unless it's one in NYC, then that's acceptable. You did move there, right? Please don't tell me I'm still stuck in Tuscaloosa!

Finally, what is your hair like? Did it turn completely grey? Are you still rocking the Stacy London look? Is Stacy London even relevant?

Love and Kisses!
Candice

P.S. Did the last Twilight movies really suck?

You want me to do WHAT?!

Earlier this morning I read this really great article by Marlo Thomas entitled "Passing the Torch... Who's Going to Run With It?" Basically it was about growing feminism for the next generation (or at least that was what the tweet on twitter tweeted about it... tweet). Anywho... here is the link to it. Go ahead. Give it a read. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marlo-thomas/growing-feminism-for-the-_b_914380.html

Read it? Great huh? It's really inspiring to know that in today's world opportunities are opening up for women by leaps and bounds. In today's world there's nothing a woman can't do simply because she's a woman.

Growing up I never had a hero. People I admired maybe but never an actual hero. Which, looking back, I find to be a shame because as I was a child women were beginning to take the world by storm. There was no longer an excuse NOT to have one. This got me thinking: If I didn't have a role model or a hero, what did I have?

I just read a blog post about books that changed lives and decided to comment on it. The first book that sprang to mind was Catherine Called Birdy which was a favorite of mine growing up. Not to go into any details, but it was basically about a girl ahead of her time. Another favorite, The Awakening. Again, woman ahead of her time. A Doll's House. A woman ahead of her time. Seeing a pattern here? Me too.

Over the past few years I've started to become more aware of the advances of women in both the workforce and in the world. It wasn't too long ago that I remember telling my grandmother that I didn't think a woman would do well as a president. I really wish I could go back and slap that version of me. On second thought, maybe not; that would hurt. My point is, why would I think that? Why would I tell myself, and firmly believe, that women can't do what men can?

The truth is I don't know. I could say that I thought the world wasn't ready for a female president of the United States. But why not?! Other countries have women leaders - Germany, England, Liberia, Finland, India, Argentina, Australia... the list goes on! Why not us? Why not the US? Okay... off that soapbox.

My point is and original reason for writing this post is that today's women can do anything, be anything, achieve anything. Our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers fought and pushed to get us to where we are today. If anything, I wish I could tell girls how successful they can be, how beautiful they can be, etc. and that they don't have to be Snookie or whatever crap MTV pushes out to be awesome!

I think Reese Witherspoon summed it up best (ironically at the MTV Movie Awards) “I know it’s cool to be bad; I get it,” she said. “But it’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show.” It's also possible to make it anywhere.

Note: I should let you know what brought on this girl power rant. Last week my boss told me that he wanted me to clean the office really well because one of his bosses is coming back into town and wanted to make sure the office looked good for him. Apparently I work on the set of Mad Men. However, according to my friend Emilie, if I did work on Mad Men haha well on Mad Men I'd "at least have a really attractive... boss who might bang you on the side." Thanks Emile Bunle for putting that into perspective.

If I could write my own job description... It would be awesome

It's a funny thing, really, when you think about your job. What it is you ACTUALLY do vs what you were HIRED to do. I often wonder would I have even applied for my job had I known exactly what all it entailed.

Thinking...

Thinking...

Thinking...

Yeah, I probably would still have applied. I was that desperate back then.

In hindsight, which IMO is the best sight to have, the job hasn't been that bad. I've learned a lot, I've grown somewhat of a backbone, I've learned not to let little things get me down. But, just in case there is something better just around the bend *coughNewYorkcough* I've decided to create a more accurate job description for the person who one day takes my place

Event Coordinator Job Description

Office Equipment Repairperson/Guru - The Event Coordinator is required to know all facets of the office equipment, including but not limited to Fax Machine, Copier, Laminator, Scanner, etc. Should the Event Coordinator for some reason not know the reason behind malfunctioning equipment, whether due to overusage or ignorant employees who don't know how to use said equipment, he or she must figure out how to fix said equipment so ignorant employee can continue with their job.

Information Specialist - The Event Coordinator must be familiar with all internet websites that may contain any information others may need at any given time. He or she must always be able to find answers to a variety of questions, including football/commencement/academic/Prince William's schedules; phone numbers to clients who had an event that one time three years ago; and why Vanderbilt is the Commodores.

Psychic Medium - Must be able to see into the future and forsee all needs and wants of anyone at any given time. Whether they are a client or not. This may also include knowing what type of salad Nick Saban enjoys.


Historian - Ability to keep impeccable records of all events dating to before Event Coordinator graduated from high school. Prefer person who is able to recall dates at the drop of a hat and provide facts regarding said dates.


Therapist/Psychologist - Provide free services for customers and co-workers with various problems and disorders. These may range from "my boss just told me we need cookies for this afternoon," and "but only 8 of my 10 guests showed up and I don't want to pay for 10" to "my husband pissed me off this morning so I'm going to take it out on you." Therapist license preferred but not required.

Detective - Ability to research and provide facts from mulitple months or years prior, including what type of spice was used on that thing with the brown stuff on top that was served at the event that was back in 2007 or 2004 when that man with the grey toupe sat at the third or fourth table and ordered a glass of water.

Miracle Worker - At any given time miracles must be performed. These are not limited to Annie Sullivan miracles but may also include miracles of the Biblical kind.

Yes, yes you can add water at the last minute! W-A-T-E-R!

Sound like an interesting job? No? You're right... it's actually not. Except for the miracle working part. That's pretty awesome.